Ahhhhhh.......don't ya just love the dog days of summer?In our parts......as the kids get ready to go back to school and the temps still hover around 95 degrees at dusk......the t-shirts and the skinsuits start getting a hair testy.
I wish I had the space in this blog to copy and paste the remarks dedicated to what the "authorities" had to say about "fixing" all the problems with our group rides.
Suffice to say.....it'll give you boils on the ass.....bad.
I'll break it down for you in a nutshell:
"why was the ride so fast this morning....man we were going 28mph out of the parking lot.....the t-shirts were letting gaps open up all over the place....dude on the mtn. bike was only going 16mph....i thought tuesdays were the fast days....why won't they just let the fred go off the front if he wants to ride so hard every day....look at all the treks....how come no one ever say's "car back anymore"....check out dude in the purple helmet....where has ralph been lately, is he still in jail?....if he is going to ride with us he needs a better light....check out dude in the retro postal kit....think how hot she would be if she had some bolt-on's....attention everyone, there will be a group ride etiquette seminar at the lbs on wed. night (seriously)....this is how we did it bitd....hey, lets start a new ride on fri....hey, lets start a new TEAM so we can all ride together....i hear bill is doing jacks wife, canubelieveit??....dude, i think steve is doping, he NEVER goes up university hill that fast"......
Get the picture?
If I were a beginning cyclist and I were exposed to this kind of adolescent bs it would take me about 3 rides to pick another hobby like golf or rockclimbing.
And the ironic thing is some of the chief instigators are reasonably intelligent people. On the surface anyway.
You should see the debate that occurs when someone suggests a new route to get the existing ride on some fresh pavement or to get around some detour. Most would prefer Bin Laden rewrite the constitution. Or claim that lance doped. (gasp)
So the next time someone shows up at your local ride with and ipod.....ride over and give em a kiss.....you could be here.
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7 comments:
bitter much?
i'll let you have a wild-card spot on my new Cat 7 Super Team. We got awesome kits.
I can assure you the climbers have their hierarchy, zany rules of conduct and freds. Problem there is the freds can get you seriously killed or maimed, just ask Pollack.
The grass ain't greener on the other side of the mountain.
that should have said "seriously maimed or killed." I would think being non-seriously killed is just as bad as seriously killed. I guess if you are "seriously killed", then you get a closed casket (augering in from up high tends to tear the body into pieces).
I was non-seriously killed in Garden of the Gods once, but this hippie chick crystal worshiper gave me mouth to mouth and I came "back to life". Shh, don't tell her.
Garden of the Gods? Pollack you gave your pasty, skinney crippled, lurking-ass away with that comment.
JP, you need to rehash your Italy story...good example of the freds trying to off themselves on the rock...
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